My blogging and work days usually get done with children in my arms. Sending proposals and contracts to clients, working on my book events and sharing daily life updates online all happen in between screams of “He hit me!” and cold sips of coffee. I often joke that I do my best work in the midst of chaos, but let’s be real… If I have the opportunity not to be distracted by crying kids and every day crazy for a few hours, I’ll take it! So today, when my mom came over for her weekly fun SheShe time with the kids, I was determined to head to my favorite coffee shop to get some work done in peace. We’ve been in a very busy season and my blogs have fallen by the wayside of life. Now, with this gift of a slow-moving morning, I made only one big goal; BLOG.
I ordered a Cinnamon Almond Milk Latte, and snagged my favorite corner seat. I pulled out my laptop, plugged in my headphones and excitedly logged in to my website to bust out what was sure to be an amazing blog. But literally nothing came out! My brain felt like there was a giant ‘closed for road work’ sign hanging in it. I sat there for 2 hours typing and deleting over and over. Nothing felt right and it seemed like after everything, I was only left with multiple unfinished blogs. I was feeling frustrated with myself. I looked at the clock and saw my alone time slipping away. My big goal I had for this time was suffocating me. It felt like the harder I tried to push for inspiration, the harder on myself I became.
Now, I don’t know about you all, but this whole, “ feeling down on myself” business is not my jam. I’ve spent so much of my childhood feeling less than for my shortcomings and issues in school and I’m not about to live my adult life that way, too. So, I removed myself from that head space.
I chugged the last bit of my cold Cinnamon Almond Milk Latte (catch the irony there?), and I stood up from my favorite corner seat, unplugged my headphones, logged out of my website with the multiple half-written blogs staring at me, and drove myself to Target!
I spent the next hour and a half walking up and down every aisle, grabbing a new mug and some greenery for our breakfast table, picking out new shoes in peace and snagging some adorable on-sale items for the kiddos. But more importantly than the few items I ended up checking out with, I left with a new feeling and an idea of what I could share with you all today.
It’s okay when things don’t go as planned. Goals can be adjusted. What started out as a need to accomplish, turned into a goal of taking time for myself and remembering it’s okay to step away.
And as my husband pointed out to me, if the only thing I got out of my desired productive alone time was a long trip Target by myself, that’s time well spent!